Shadows of the Pantheon
by vaguekiwi
Summary: In a brothel in Hammerfell a Nord takes a Redguard woman. His seed sets and a child is born. A babe with more destiny than anyone can fathom.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** _Hello, nice to meet you. I hate to interrupt your reading but I just wanted to make a couple things clear because this story is a little unconventional. First of all, this is a very short story. It's 10 chapters and each chapter is very short (less than 1500 words). The whole thing is already drafted and essentially this is the backstory of my new Skyrim character. I originally wrote it for myself but decided as long as I wrote it I might as well post it if others will enjoy it. So it's a little detached, it's not 'action-packed' or a long adventure, it's a lot of thought and small details. Sorry if you're not really into that. I'd also like to note that this story is rated M for the following reasons:_

 _ **Important TW:** strong language, forced prostitution non-graphic references to sex and rape, minor non-graphic violence, and scenes of high tension._

 _So now I'll get out of your way. A big thank you to my betareaders for this chapter: likelolwhat and Ciaus Falkreath, sorry to both of you that I might move on before you can get back to me :)_

 _Anyway thanks for reading and enjoy your day,_

 ** _-Grace T_**

 **Chapter 1**

 _Light and fire bloom most often in misty air_

The city of Sentinel sung itself to sleep in a chilly twilight in Sun's Dawn. Merchants and doctors clambered into their beds, mothers lulled their children to sleep, fathers told their sons the old stories of Yokuda and the Ra'Gada. And the other buildings, the dilapidated wooden ones crushed against one another, closer to the harbor, began to wake up. The places of contraband and skooma dealings, sly hands and brothels.

Inside one such building, the air was murky with lantern smoke and the white fog of alcohol. What empty space which pressed itself against the walls reeked of liquor and sex. Slender waists with skin of ebony and chocolate swayed before slacked eyes and skulking fingers. Thin pink nails traced coffee colored legs and rough palms swooped to caress thick lips and high cheeks. Little occurred in the main room, save for sly smiles and seductive winks.

The patrons of the brothel weren't all Redguard. The pink skin of Imperials, ivory faces of Nords, and stern expressions of Bretons frequented the aspects of clients. The women did not mind who they took and the men largely did not mind who they fucked, so the night passed slow and easy.

One woman stood slight, nervous, _new_. " _Pure"_ chanted the snide voices of her associates, only out of spite as they knew the bounty she drew. Hands waved and gold clicked over the chaste one. They competed and howled and laughed drunkenly about all having a go. One man pushed forward and dropped a large bag into the hand of the matron. The old woman peered with greed at the coins, and then looked to the handsome face of the Nord and waved him away with the girl. The man took her wrist with sunken eyes and a weary scowl, and led her away.

That which occurred was all the business of the Nord and the youth. But at the end of the night long after he left, the girl sat with her hands between her legs, stirring the blood and grappling with the warmth and desecration settling in her stomach.

She was unaware for three weeks that the seed of the Nord set, and bloomed inside her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** _Hello again, I don't want to hang around too long as always. I just want to reply to my guest review from last time. First of all, thank you for your feedback. I am using the word 'slight' in chapter 1 in its second adjective definition (adj - of a person or build; not sturdy and strongly built). Ex. The boy's frame was skinny and slight. You're probably right too, a prostitute cares who buys her even if she's not allowed to show it. The other thing I want to note is I won't be around next week so Chapter 3 will be posted Sunday night: the 13th of September 2015._

 _Anyway thanks for reading and have a good one,_

 _- **Grace T**_

 **Chapter 2**

 _Pale shadows stretch deep into the lives of twilight_

Ashen screamed with what little strength had not given to her thighs.

"There, Ashen, there." Gianna, another of the girls, soothed the woman with her plump belly and soaked skin. "Be calm, the head is coming. I see the head."

"Morwha give me a boy!" Ashen screeched and coiled away. Ranya, the matron, held her down with strong arms.

"Breathe! Damn you girl, breathe! I won't lose you and the child!" Ranya snapped. Ashen gasped and screamed, jerking. Gianna's fingers slipped up her legs to broach against the heat and blood. Ashen moaned and thrust forward, Gianna stood back.

"Breathe easy Ashen." Gianna smiled while swaddling the sputtering babe. "Your little one is here. Your daughter is here." Ashen choked and gurgled, reaching forward with blind hands.

"Daughter," Ashen murmured, pulling the child close to her chest. "Daughter, come… here. Oh… the gods have cursed us both…" The baby blinked with hazy vision and spluttered and wriggled in the brightness of it all. Ashen laughed softly "Terrible curses upon us Alusa."

"Alusa?" Gianna whispered, looking up. "An old name."

"A Yokudan name." Ranya rumbled in agreement, patting Ashen on the cheek. "Rest and feed now. Can you be back to work in a week?"

"Yes matron." Ashen nodded gravely. Alusa clutched her lips around Ashen's teat. Ranya watched with warm eyes, she was a woman of greed and indulgence, but not cruelty.

Gianna stood graciously to retreat to the door. "Rest Ashen. I will return to my duties." She bowed away. Ranya watched with shrewd eyes. Her hand moved to rest on the door.

"Matron!" Ashen called anxiously. "Matron, please…" She stared at the woman with large eyes, eyes so beautiful. It was her dark skin and blue eyes which attracted so many men. "Matron… my daughter… my Alusa. When she has grown..."

Ranya's mouth set in a grim line. "Wait now Ashen. We will speak of this another day." The door shut softly behind her. Ashen felt tears claim her cheeks and rustled Alusa closer to her.

"All will be well babe… don't cry now. Hush." She gazed down at the suckling infant. For nine months she had lived uncertain. Wondering if it was the first man, or one of the many since. But now she knew, she knew the green eyes and narrow jaw. Alusa was the daughter of the Nord, the child of the first to claim Ashen. Ashen closed her eyes tight and fell back against the sheets, pressing Alusa closer to her chest. "The date." She gasped for breath, mind moving desperately. "The date Alusa… the 19th… the 19th of Frostfall."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 _Hope shudders to life in the presence of the moon_

Alusa grew quickly. She crawled and then spoke and then toddled and then played. She grew up the star in the eyes of Ashen, Gianna, and the others. During the evenings and nights she waited anxiously upstairs. And in the mornings she ran through the building, gurgling and cooing. Ranya grew fond of her as she grew fond of everyone else. Alusa grew up innovative and sly, and used more than once to pick clean the pockets of drunk men.

Ashen did not approve of the activity, but the girls were delighted and Ranya was content. The years wore on and Alusa met her 7th winter. They rarely held any sort of celebration, but Gianna would sneak a chocolate to her palm and Ashen would give a flat stone or bead or a feather she found.

One evening Alusa waited upstairs, listening to the rhythm of thumps, moans, and giggles in the other rooms. She sat rubbing out a thin paste from a flower and dipping a piece of cotton into the paste and then coloring a yellowed piece of parchment Ranya gave her. It was tedious and not so fun as the other children in the city made it seem. Though her coloring tools were far inferior.

Alusa heard someone scream downstairs, and looked up. The only other time she'd heard someone scream in the brothel was once when her mother's friend Tira served a man who struck her. The speed with which Ranya removed him had been impressive. Now Alusa stood up, tried to rub the purple from her hands, and wandered to the door.

The hallway was empty and the other rooms had gone silent. Alusa started for the steps, it was quiet downstairs too. She jumped down the big stairs and peeked around the corner to the main room. Usually people couldn't see her from here, and now she looked around to find everyone huddled in the middle of the room. Gianna was kneeling beside Ashen, who looked faint and ill. Ranya stood dumbstruck before a dark haired Redguard. The other girls were with Gianna, fretting over Ashen.

The man held a hefty purse of coins to Ranya, who for the first time ever looked quite stunned. Alusa began to creep out, but then thought better of it and stood back. The man shifted his feet and repeated in a low voice. "I'll buy her from you. Five thousand Septims."

Ranya hesitated but finally spluttered: "She has a child."

The man's eyes narrowed with some surprise, and from the center of the room Tira caught sight of the child in the doorway. "Alusa!" She gasped. "Go!" And by then it was too late.

The Redguard turned to stare at her and paced forward several steps. Across the room, Ashen trembled and looked as if she was trying to speak but could muster no words.

"You, girl, come out of there." The Redguard beckoned Alusa with a deep voice and three small fingers. Alusa stepped forward with hesitant obedience to stand before him.

"Hmm …" The man looked her up and down thoughtfully. "Yes, I think so." He nodded curtly.

"Get away from my daughter!" Ashen finally seemed to find her voice and she screamed. Gianna wrapped her arms around her soothingly.

"Hush Ashen, allow matron to decide."

The Redguard nodded and turned back to Ranya, striding toward her. "Yes. I will buy them both. Ten thousand Septims." Alusa stood still as a statue, Ashen gasped and sat down hard on the ground. Gianna crouched fretfully beside her.

"Ruptga save us." Ashen whispered quietly. "Matron please." Ranya's eyes shifted to rest on Ashen, then flicked to Alusa.

"The girl is a maiden." Ranya rasped. "Why sell her to you when I could make up twice that amount in her first few months?"

The Redguard's expression soured and he sneered at Ranya. "Fifteen thousand, twenty thousand, name your price I will pay for them." Ranya's eyes narrowed, and her fingers laced together.

"Name my price?" She repeated with a sly smile, and Alusa knew the woman's greed would claim her. "Twentyfive for them both."

"Done." The man grinned and stepped forward to shake her hand. "You will receive your payment within the week." He turned back to Ashen and Alusa. "Ready yourselves, we will leave now."

Ashen did not fight. Rather, she rushed Alusa to their rooms and gathered together what few items they possessed. Alusa insisted on giving her flower drawing to Gianna, who accepted it with a watery smile and thin hug. Gianna leaned to Alusa's ear and whispered: "The Pantheon will protect you, care for your mother little one."

Alusa's fingers were still stained purple when Ashen tugged her out of the brothel and onto the streets of Sentinel. Alusa knew some of the city but she had never been permitted to wander far. The Redguard took them far, past the brothels and beggars, past the bakers and butchers, past the doctors and men of law. Ashen kept her grip tight on Alusa and pulled her along, never looking back. When the sun was nearly gone and Alusa realized they were going to the gates of the city, Ashen finally spoke.

"Don't touch her." Her voice wavered despite conviction. "Don't touch her, don't sell her. I will do whatever you want, serve as many as you need, but keep yours away from my daughter."

The man's eyes glazed toward her. "Do not worry." He said. Alusa squeezed Ashen's hand as her mother was still shaking.

They kept walking, through the gates and out onto the main trade road and the moon soared high in the sky. Alusa's eyes grew heavy, until she was tripping behind Ashen. "We must sleep." Ashen declared. "We must let her rest."

The Redguard came to a curt stop, and surveyed the sky. He nodded curtly, and veered off the road. "I hope you won't mind sleeping on the ground." He declared, sifting through a small pack on his belt for a thin piece of cheese and two halves of an apple. "There will be more food tomorrow. Drink this." He proffered his waterskin. Ashen took it from him hesitantly, and lifted the open nozzle to her nose. The Redguard swore, snatched the skin from her and took a long swing. "Water! It is merely water! I will not drug and assault you or your child, now drink woman!" He thrust it back to her face, and Ashen finally drank slowly while he settled to sit down. Ashen sat in the grass near him, stretching Alusa across her lap and brushing her hair back with her thumb.

The Redguard watched but did not speak, he looked out toward the road, senses tense for the sound of predators or highwaymen.

"Where are you taking us?" Ashen whispered, throat growing tight.

His voice was rough and deep, his voice was strong. "Stros M'Kai."

"Do not enough whores sail into the ports of Hunding?"

"I am not taking you there to give your body, Ashen."

Ashen stiffened, her fingers tangled with Alusa's arms. "My name ..."

The man nodded gravely. "Was overheard … I am a friend Ashen. I have a home in Stros M'Kai. A small cottage on the southern coast, less than an hour from Saintsport, we will go there. We will raise Alusa there, in safety."

Ashen glowered at the man. "Do not play with me and do not mock my daughter's future Redguard."

"I'm not!" He bristled sharply. "You still worship the Pantheon and so do I and so will Alusa so by Sep listen to me!" Ashen quieted and stared at him, mind working.

"If what you say is true … why?" She breathed.

The man swallowed hard, and looked at the dust lining his feet. "My name is Selain. I am a friend of Cord, and by extension a friend of yours."

Ashen's lip curled up in disgust. "I know no man of the name Cord."

"Yes." Selain interrupted her. "You know him better than many men. He was the man to break your maidenhead."

Ashen grew abruptly quiet and stared at him, eyes flickering uncertainly in the growing darkness. "What do you know of that man?"

Selain smiled slightly, teeth glowing white against the dark of his face. "I know he came to Hammerfell as a mercenary. I know he bears the white skin of a Nord and the green eyes of your daughter. He is a friend of mine and he regrets nothing more than having used you the way he did, drunk and weary from travel." Selain's eyes shifted away from her, back toward the city. "I met him not long after that night. A month ago he wrote to me, asked as a friend would I go and track you down. It took some time, but I found you … You have been with many men but I see him in your daughter." Ashen's fingers curled anxiously around Alusa's shoulders.

"If Alusa were not his would you have bought her?"

"Yes." Selain nodded. "I bear little love for brothels and whorehouses. I would not have gone so far as to separate you from your child."

A tremor rocked through Ashen as she looked at this man and wondered if he lied. "Will you tell him about her?"

Selain wrinkled his nose and spat to his left, saliva turning to mud on the ground. "I don't think so. I will tell him you are safe, that is all he wants to know. I will not tell him of his child."

Ashen nodded slowly, eyes blazing. "Good."

Selain nodded and curled back against the tree.

"Will you really send twentyfive thousand Septims to her?"

He nodded. "I would not have the matron trying to find you or I. She will receive her payment, I will take you to my home. We will raise your daughter."

"Why do you say we?" Ashen breathed.

Selain shrugged. "It is your decision. But I think the child may find comfort in the idea that I am her father, but decide that for yourself." Ashen turned away, drew Alusa closer to her body, and closed her eyes to let her mind wash over her.

"Much has happened, I find myself weary." She grunted. "Leave me to my rest." Selain nodded, and did not speak again.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4**_

 _Time spins in cosmic waves unbeknownst to mortal planes_

The house Selain owned in Stros M'Kai was a beautiful cottage. It rested just above the sea on a base of rock. In the spring sometimes it flooded, but it always stood strong. When Ashen and Alusa first arrived the home had only one room, but after a few months Selain expanded upon it two bedrooms.

The night they arrived, Ashen took Alusa down to the beach and the child scooped up smooth stones and shrieked at the cold of the crisp water. Ashen told her then that Selain was her father, and he had rescued them from the brothel, and all would be well.

After this Alusa slept with nervous excitement, and Selain and Ashen sat on the porch and stared at the water. "You have brought us to a place of beauty and safety." Ashen whispered. "Thank you."

Selain nodded. "I did as Cord asked, and I will raise Alusa with you."

She inhaled the sharp salt in the air and said. "Selain even as you pose as her father, I will not bed you."

"I would not expect you to." He nodded. "Our priority is her."

"Yes."

So Alusa grew, day by day and year by year. Selain taught her to read in the mornings, and he taught Ashen to read in the secrets of night. He worked with Alusa on arithmetic for a brief time, but not far past division because Ashen complained it was nonsensical for her to learn. They took trips to Port Hunding, to the hills and the sights. Selain would take her to the mountains and twice to the mainland and Stros M'Kai became her home and her heart.

She learned to fish by grappling with them in the water and she spent long hours in the ocean and sun. She collected sea shells and stones and small pieces of glass after the lightning storms and arranged them all around her bedroom. She learned and loved to run, run and run. She could run forever. She spent longer afternoons working at the lute or singing in fleeting hobbies. At nights Ashen took her to the firepit and taught her to cook and they would eat while her parents spoke in solemn voices about the gods, the Pantheon and the ancient world of Yokuda and her heritage of Ra'Gada so she might never lose the songs of her people.

Things were not always perfect. They watched for pirates and huddled from criminals and twice Alusa broke her wrist near the Dwemer ruins.

But for some time, Alusa had all she would need.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

 _Blood cares not where the heart settles_

The Aldmeri Dominion left Hammerfell scarred and devastated. Some of the struggle stretched to Stros M'Kai, but for the most part Ashen and Alusa were able to live in peace. On occasion Selain disappeared, but only for a few weeks.

When Alusa turned 14 her blood came and she went to her mother because she had already known of it, and so she was laid down with a hot cloth and a mug of tea. From then on she knew sickness two days of the month, a dizzy feeling in which she choked and slept fitfully and occasionally threw up.

Selain watched anxiously but Ashen assured him it was all natural. "She may grow out of it, or she may suffer the rest of her life. She will need to prepare in advance, to be able to lie still when she needs it." Ashen taught Alusa to keep and watch a calendar as the months came and went.

Alusa turned 16, and Selain watched her with curved, messy handwriting, scrawling a letter to order fruits from the mainland. He stood and went outside, to where Ashen patched a thin robe. "Should she marry?" He asked, settling in the oak chair beside her. Ashen looked up, stared at Selain, and shrugged.

"Should she want to." She said. "What suitor do you imagine?"

"None." Selain shook his head. "I have little dowry for her, we have a small house, and she appreciates her dresses but longs more eagerly for the ocean and running and fishing."

"So let her live her life swimming, running, and fishing." Ashen said, then peered at him. "You claim to have no money for her but you bought us for a small fortune."

Selain shook his head. "That money was Cords, I hunt and gather for myself. When we go to town I trade for coin. I have never borne more than a thousand Septims to my name."

Ashen thought on this. "You do not speak often of Cord."

"You do not ask of him."

"Is he a good man?"

Selain cocked his head to the side, listening to the ocean shielded by a warm blanket of darkness. "I believe so. Nights at a brothel aside."

Ashen snorted. "Why was he so willing to save me, if he would never meet me?"

Selain shrugged and examined his fingernails with false occupation. "Cord's remorse is a strong thing."

Ashen rocked slowly back and forth, her needlework forgotten. She thought of his words and weighed her questions. "Do you hear from him often?"

"A few times a year, less as they go by. We met in the war with the Dominion, our battles still haunt him. He stays home now, restless and afraid of the walls."

"Is he mad?"

"I would not say mad." Selain shook his head pensively. "Distressed, yes. He struggles with nightmares."

"When did you last hear from him?" Ashen asked, the sudden hunger for information surprised her.

"Three months ago. I have kept his letters, should you want to read them."

"No." Ashen shook her head. "Does he know I stay with you?"

"No." Selain's voice was serious and curt. "He knows I ensured you were safe nine years ago." Ashen twirled the needle in her grip, as if preparing to stab through the robe, slicing a jagged swath.

"You have been good to us Selain."

Selain nodded thoughtfully. "It would be a lie to say I do not consider you both family now."

She peered at him, into gray eyes of storms and wondered at him. "Did you ever have one … a family?"

He shook his head and shrugged. "First I was young … then I was a soldier … and just as I was beginning to think of it again Cord wrote to me, asked I find you. Women and babes hardly interested me."

"And now?"

Selain's smile was sly and sweet. "I regret nothing about bringing you here, and see Alusa as good as my daughter."

Ashen nodded gravely. "She is a good daughter, you were lucky to miss the first few sleepless years."

Selain laughed. He did not laugh often and Ashen liked it, a warm deep sound. "I imagine I was." He chuckled, nodding thoughtfully.

He heard the door open, and saw light tumble outward to illuminate the porch and glisten off the beach. "Mother, Father?" Alusa had a quiet voice, gentle with a lilt inviting warmth and trust.

"Yes?" Selain twisted to peer at her, ink still stained her fingers, she smiled kindly.

"I-I have a question to ask of you both." She swayed outward.

Aside from her green eyes, Alusa held no traits of the Nords. Her skin and hair were dark like her mothers and she stood tall and slender, stepping with grace and lean movements. Ashen moved on the porch so Alusa might sit between them, tucking her legs underneath herself, she put her hands in her lap, and bit her lip.

After a moment she released a pent piece of air, and spoke. "I should like to study magic."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

 _The world illuminates in trembling sparks of courage_

Fortunately for Alusa, a wizended mage made his home in Saintsport and agreed to lessons. Her teacher was an elderly Imperial with little interest in the particular use of magic but rather preferred theory. He spent hours and hours talking to Alusa and giving her books about history and religion and safety. At first Alusa minded, but after a couple of weeks she found he was cultivating a passion for books in her. A love of reading that she and her parents had never been able to afford before.

Over those months, Selain went away more. He traveled far and came back tired after weeks on end, but always with enough coin to pay the fee of the man. It took about six months but eventually Alusa came home ecstatic, whirling into their cottage and nearly giving Ashen a heart attack.

"Mother!" She chanted. "Look at this – look at what Forard has taught me." And she lifted her hands and let gold tendrils of smoke wash over her wrists. Ashen sat up curiously, eyes flickering with interest at the trails of amber which spilled from her hands and dissolved on the floor.

"That is wonderful Alusa." She smiled and watched the glow fade away. "What will it do?"

"It will soothe wounds, and stop bleeding until I should find a place to rest and care for myself."

Ashen smiled nervously. "That is well … but what should you need it for? What do you think you need to learn magic for?"

Alusa shrugged and twirled in the room, letting the healing spell wash over the cabin again. "I don't know, but it is incredible. The strength and the power of magicka … the pool of energy, the knowledge of the books. When will Father return so I may show him?"

Ashen moved forward to still Alusa. "Your father has gone away again to work, he will be back in a couple weeks."

A couple weeks was all the time Alusa needed to master the might of fire. It took some time, and hours of practicing to create flickering sparks, and a roaring ball of flame, and then a stream of fire. Ashen watched patiently and asked again: "Why?" But Alusa's answer was largely the same.

Selain returned exhausted and sore footed to find her home, red and gold flickering on her hands, and for a moment he was proud. But then she saw him, her face lit up. "Father you are home! Forard and I have been speaking, he believes I should travel to Cyrodiil to the Imperial City to continue my studies."

Selain smiled slightly and eased himself into the chair across from Ashen at their wooden table. "Alusa, I could never afford for you to go to the Imperial City and study." He sighed. "I am so sorry, it is simply not a question."

Alusa's face fell and she blinked hard past the tears that brimmed in her eyes. She couldn't get mad, she knew that, it made sense, she shouldn't push her father. "Of course. I'm sorry, I understand." She murmured, and then retreated to her room. Selain watched her go, and looked quizzically at Ashen.

"It is good we do not have the money." Ashen rasped. "Even if you paid … I will never let her leave this place."

Selain cocked his head to the side. "Why is that?" He asked quietly.

Ashen looked at Alusa's closed door, her eyes heavy and shut to slits. "I left home when I was seventeen to study in Morrowind. I traveled for four day before I was struck on the head and woke with Ranya looking down on me. Cord broke me a week after I left home ..." Ashen's voice trailed away, Selain busied himself with the frayed corner of his shirt. Finally Ashen said. "Alusa will not leave Stros M'Kai."

"You cannot keep her here forever." Selain rumbled.

"I will enjoy my forever here." Ashen retorted. "And this interest in magic will fade. She is a Ra'Gada, and the scourge of the Lefthanded Elves leaves us all wary to magic in the end."

Selain opened his mouth, to ask if Ashen ever thought herself too cautious. But then he reconsidered her story, and nodded curtly. "Very well." He agreed. "We will keep her here. For her own safety."

Ashen nodded. "You said it when you brought us here. Our priority is her."

"Do you ever think of going home?" Selain asked. "Why did you not ask me to take you home?"

Ashen shook her head. "They would beat me and cast me out. My work with Ranya dishonored them, they would have taken Alusa and killed her."

"I am sorry. Was the work itself so terrible?"

Ashen shrugged. "Worse at first. More painful, but after a time I became … very numb to it all. I had another child …" She hesitated and Selain perked up. "A son … Innes …. When Alusa was of three years. He died before the age of one, but he had always been sickly." Selain inclined his head to her and Ashen sighed. "Yes … the work was terrible. But of course, Alusa somehow makes it worth it, in a twisted way."

"Yes." Selain looked to the girl's bedroom. "She will be great. Perhaps I can see if swordsmanship or axes will not interest her." Then he snorted. "Maybe even the work of hunting and the bow, if that is what it takes to keep her here."

Ashen bowed her head slightly to Selain. "Thank you. For all you have done."

Selain nodded. "Thank you Ashen, for what you have brought to me."


	7. Chapter 7

**Authors Note:** _Hey guys, I'm really sorry I haven't updated the past couple weeks. First I was on a trip for school and then I was on vacation with my parents. But I'm back with Chapter 7, we only have a few chapters left, and thanks for sticking with it and coming by._

 _Thanks for reading_

 _-Grace_

 **Chapter 7**

 _Love longs in fond tongues for home_

Alusa listened to Selain. She took up swordplay with him in obedience and spent less time with Forard. She even spent a few afternoons shooting a bow, but her feet always led her back to her books and to the spells of flames and healing. One evening she sat with her wizened tutor poring over scrolls speaking of old Yokuda magic. It was dead magic, and not something she would put into practice, but still information she learned to put away in her mind.

She explained her issues to Forard. The old Imperial nodded thoughtfully. "The pursuit of magic is a tragically expensive one, and not so lucrative." He murmured. "I am sorry child, and I wonder of other options. For you display such a natural talent and bright inquisitiveness."

"Yes!" Alusa gasped, pushing the book away. "Yes, please! Tell me there is someplace I might go, some way to learn more swiftly. Restoration, alteration, illusion."

Forard laughed. "Let me think on it child."

So Alusa waited patiently, and passed her time in long hours. It used to be that the cottage and the beach and ocean was enough. But now the island became small and cramped. There was not enough here, and there was so much more elsewhere. She wanted to see it all, to travel to the mountains of Morrowind and the sands of Elsweyr and the ends of High Rock.

High Rock was a longer argument than the others. After all the Bretons possessed strong magical abilities and many wise tutors. They were often willing to teach at the exchange of servitude, so Alusa dappled in the idea of becoming a maid for an elderly woman Forard recommended. That argument was brief between Selain and Alusa, but long between him and Ashen.

"It will be safe for her." He told Ashen.

Ashen shook her head. "She will not go, she cannot go. I will let no one hurt my child the way they hurt me."

"You cannot know that will happen Ashen. You must be willing to let her go. She is serious about her study of magic."

"And I am serious about her safety!"

"I will arrange an escort!" Selain blustered.

"You could afford no true escort, and I will not give my daughter over to mercenaries whose minds can be swayed at the glint of coin."

"Then I will take her!"

"I have said no!" Ashen snapped. "She is my daughter and not yours. She will stay here."

Selain told Alusa she would not go to High Rock. Disappointed, she accepted his words without need for explanation.

Alusa turned 18, and still she obeyed.

"You are lucky." Selain told Ashen. "Lucky she has not left."

"I am a good parent with a good daughter." Ashen retorted, voice thin with impatience. "I am not lucky."

"A better parent than her father ever was." Selain snorted in agreement.

Ashen paused ad looked up, she did not say anything for a moment. Then she said "Was?"

Selain swallowed hard and looked away. "I did not leave for work this time. I traveled to Skyrim … Cord was killed by some creature there … a sabre cat. I thought of telling you before I left."

"No." Ashen shook her head. "It is well. Does he have a family?"

Selain bowed his head and closed his eyes. "None left. No family but Alusa."

"Alusa will never be his"

He looked at her. "Will you be well?"

"I will."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

 _Where bravery fails stubbornness can soar_

"The College!" Alusa exclaimed one evening late in Mid Year. "I can go to the College to study!" She burst onto the porch where Ashen read and Selain napped. "Please!" She gasped, grabbing at Selain's arm and jerking him awake. "Father! The College of Winterhold! It requires no money, no service, only aptitude!"

Selain rubbed sleep from his eyes and blinked at her, trying to piece together the implications of her words. "College …?" He repeated. "No, the Arcane University disbanded years ago."

"No. The College of Winterhold!" She repeated, shaking him roughly so he would focus. "In Skyrim!" Selain blinked and seemed to come to himself.

"You cannot go to Skyrim." He grunted. "You cannot leave Stros M'Kai."

Alusa's face fell and she stepped back. With all else she had accepted his answer, but now she whispered: "Why?"

Selain's eyes slid to Ashen, who shook her head.

"It is not good for you in Skyrim." He whispered. "It is good for no one in Skyrim."

Alusa hesitated. "Father, it is a harsh land with men of closed minds. But I will be alright, I will be able to study at the College. There are people of all of Tamriel at the College."

"Yes." He scoffed. "Druid elves of Morrowind and the yellow bastard Altmer."

"Do not say that." She whispered quietly. "They are not all horrible."

Selain glowered at her. "I will not send you to learn beside cats and tree climbers amidst a people who do not want any of you there!"

"Father!" Alusa shouted then, a rage mounting in her that she had not known before, she felt indignation snap in her heart and her fists. "You cannot simply refuse this way you cannot keep me here!"

"Alusa!" Selain stood to tower over her, eyes smoldering. "Never talk back to me! Never think to doubt or disobey my words. You are still a child and the dangers of the world are in all corners! You lived seven years in a place that destroyed your mother, you know every horrible evil of this world!"

"What do you know?" Alusa shrieked. "You were the one to go there, to take away from her what was so precious! You are no better than the criminals you condemn, you are a wretched man who rapes for fun and then comes back out of some false sense of remorse but you have no intention of letting me live as I wish!"

Selain hissed. "I would never put myself in a place so degrading as a brothel to hurt a woman that way!"

Alusa whipped around, tearing her fingers through her hair. "What would you know you already did!"

"No!" Selain yelled. "No I didn't and I will not stand here and have my honor mocked. I never stepped foot in such a place except to save you both and I have never touched your mother!"

Alusa turned to face him, eyes glistening. Ashen put her hand over her mouth and squeezed her eyes shut. Selain stepped back, breathing hard, he sunk into his chair and gasped. Night clouded their shattered family.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note:** _Would you believe this is the second to last chapter? I know right isn't that shocking like 'Grace what the fuck nothing has even happened' and I know. I told you that when you started this story there's like ... no plot. Anyway thanks for reading and have a good one._

 **Chapter 9**

 _Upon every trailing grasp of truth waits a web of heinous blasphemy_

Alusa was still while they spoke to her. First Ashen, then Selain, then Ashen again. They went back and forth, struggling to explain the reason for their deceit and the story of Cord.

"What happened to him?" Alusa whispered.

"He died several months ago." Selain murmured. "Killed by a sabre cat. He is not someone to be missed, Alusa."

"But he was your friend."

"Bonds grow swift on the battlefield, fighting for your life. Even bonds with men of poor character."

"But he regretted what he did to my mother."

Selain nodded. "So he did, and we should commend him for what he asked of me. But that is all the care you should pay to him."

"Did he …." Alusa lost her voice, did not speak for a moment, and then found herself again. "Did he ever know I existed?"

"No." Selain shook his head. "I thought about it for a long time. For ten years I have gone back and forth. But I knew him, and your mother knew him, and believe me that it is better he did not know of you."

Alusa nodded, biting down on her tongue, trying to wrap her mind around it all. "And you." Her voice became hollow. "You are not my father."

Selain shook his head. "I am not your father. But I cannot say I do not see you as a daughter."

"Alusa." Ashen spoke up now, reaching for her daughter's hand and squeezing it. "Selain has been good to us, you should not feel anger toward him."

"I-I don't." Alusa gasped. "I am not angry … at either of you I just … I have much to think about."

"Alusa." Ashen put her arm around the girl's shoulder. "Alusa listen to me. The only reason I was in that brothel, was because I left home. Because I chose to travel. I would implore you to stay here. We can all be safe here, learn your magic slowly, by yourself."

"I-I need to go inside." Alusa murmured, standing up and dusting her knees off. The action felt too normal. "Goodnight mother …. Selain."

The door shut behind her.

Selain bowed his head low, and put his fingertips to his forehead. "I am so sorry, Ashen."

"No, I am sorry." She shook her head. "Perhaps we should have told her ten years ago … perhaps we should have waited, but it is better that she know."

Alusa pretended to sleep when Ashen put a mug of tea on her dresser, and lied awake the rest of the night. In the morning she heard Selain and Ashen moving sluggishly, exhausted from the tension and late hours of the night before. Alusa sat up, she wondered if her mind should be whirling but it wasn't. She felt only calm and still and the slightest bit numb. She felt as content as ever. Without moving she let her healing spell slip over her, it didn't soothe her heart, but it created the illusion of normalcy. She climbed out of bed and went slowly to the door, to look out at the main room.

Ashen tended the fire, Selain worked at scooping eggs onto three wooden plates. They both looked up when they saw her and grew still, waiting. The tension in the air floated between the three of them, finally Alusa whispered. "I need to go to Skyrim." She waited a moment but they did not speak. "For the College … but for Cord as well. I have to go there."

Selain opened his mouth, but Ashen cut him off. "Yes." She nodded solemnly to her daughter. Selain paused and looked to Ashen, perplexed. "You should go to Skyrim." Ashen stood slowly and crossed to fold Alusa into a hug. "See the land of your father and learn from their College. Learn the culture and the arts and the history as you have here, and learn all of their songs. Find the knowledge you seek. Write to us."

Alusa choked, and gasped to find her breath. "Yes. Of course." She hugged her back, and then looked over her shoulder, at Selain. "Father, will you let me go?"

Selain smiled dimly, eyes twinkling with some old humor and nodded. "Yes, I will let you travel to Skyrim. Go to the College and learn your magics, but for the sake of your mother be careful."

Alusa laughed and nodded. Selain moved to embrace them.

"Always remember your heritage little one." He whispered. "Remember the Pantheon and never lose your light or their song."


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note:** _Here we are, last chapter! Thanks for stopping by and reading and enjoy your day! Any new fic ideas for me? Let me know! Thanks again,_

 _- **Grace T**_

 **Chapter 10**

 _Love light and shadows lead to throbbing beats of splendor_

Alusa sailed from Stros M'Kai in the beginning of Sun's Height. Her days dawned early to help the sailors in their work on the boat. She loved the adventure of climbing masts and navigating high ropes. It was a mix of blind courage and gymnastics. They sailed north around Hammerfell, and for the first time in years Alusa set foot in Sentinel again.

She did recognize it, in some way. The overpowering smell of the city, and the odd sixth sense of familiarity. But for the most part everything was new and bright, and she was glad she returned. Because Sentinel was beautiful, a bustling city of ships and merchants and life. She stayed a day and then left to strike out east. She spent a week and a half crossing Hammerfell, skirting the Alik'r Desert and heading toward Cyrodiil. She chose Cyrodiil because Skyrim's border with Hammerfell was dangerous. Littered with outlaws and dark magic. The border with Cyrodiil came with a straight road north, quickly reaching a small town called Helgen and then pushing further to one of the largest trading cities in Tamriel. Traveling to Skyrim from Cyrodiil would prove undoubtedly safer, and Ashen's consent to travel did not mean Alusa could throw her life away to blind danger.

Once in Cyrodiil, Alusa curved northeast. She did not know what to make of the growing chill in the air and wondered if it would become much colder in Skyrim. She slept curved around her possessions at inns and bunkhomes and in the wilderness. She kept a dagger close and pulled frequently at the magic inside her, keeping her spell of flames ready.

Alusa spent her last night before the border camping in the mountains of Jerall. She leaned herself upon a scraggly crag tree and wrapped her cloak tightly around herself. She sat sitting up, so as to move quickly. One hand wrapped around her dagger, and the other flashed with anxious sparks of flame.

Alusa closed her eyes, and thought of the coming morning. Tomorrow she would cross the border into Skyrim, she would likely sleep at an inn in Helgen. Tomorrow she would enter the homeland of the father she never knew. Alusa bowed her head to rest on her knees.

"Tall Papa." She whispered quietly. "Protect me with your path of stars. And should ill fate touch my soul, let Tu'Whacca lead me home. Tava bless the isle and my mother and my better father. And now bring me rest, I fear great strife ahead."

 **The End**


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